Are Hypomanic Episodes Compatible with Flylady?
Yesterday I had what was undeniably a hypomanic episode.
This time it showed up as rage.
I wanted to control everybody. Because they seemed incompetent and stupid. Why wouldn’t do things my way? I was clearly the only one who saw things correctly. Why couldn’t they triage events? Why weren’t the efficient?
At one point my boyfriend was hugging me and whispering words of support and I said, “My reserves of patience and humor are nonexistent right now, so kindly f*** off.”
After a terribly uncomfortable night taking my sweet and adorable son out trick or treating I took the “break glass in case of emergency” medicine that I take when the hypomania is bad, got very dizzy because of it, and went to bed.
I woke up calm and stable.
I am so glad that I have treatment for hypomania.
I was able to tell my husband, boyfriend, son, and friends that I was having a hypomanic episode. I told them that it was making me cranky and that they shouldn’t take anything I said personally.
Then I held my tongue when I realized that I was experiencing anger born of hypomania.
Then I went to bed and allowed my brain to reboot.
When I was hypomanic, Flylady felt burdensome.
I resented every little task. Did not want. What help did I need from some old-fashioned old lady?
Oh my. Now that I’m back in my right mind, I’m embarrassed. I love Marla Cilley, benefit from her wisdom, and respect her business success.
I didn’t perform Flylady perfectly yesterday. When the dizziness took its toll, I went to bed without shining my sink, setting out my clothes, or putting out a hot spot.
And that was clearly the right decision.
It’s important to adapt Flylady to your condition.
Yesterday I would have been risking injury to do my Flylady before bed routine. That dizziness could have caused me to fall or break something. And I was so overwhelmed, panicky, cranky, and angry that staying up any longer would only have caused more strain for me and my family.
I needed to take medicine, surrender to sleep, and give my body time to adjust.
I’m so glad I did.
In fact, adjusting Flylady at that time was the appropriate, most adult and loving decision.
And making that kind of adjustment at any time in the Flylady process is also the most appropriate thing. We aren’t all identical robots. Flylady has made a structure that is helpful to thousands. She is amazingly prescient and wise.
But she hasn’t tailor-made advice for exactly us.
So it’s up to us to figure out what works and what doesn’t and what needs tweaks.
The Flylady method is flexible enough to accomodate hypomania.
But it requires that you adjust your expectations and embrace imperfection and celebrate that you’re taking care of yourself.
FLY, in Flylady parlance, stands for Finally Loving Yourself.
And Loving Yourself means accepting yourself and treating yourself with graciousness and compassion.
And today, I woke up ready to do my Flylady routine.
Here is the selfie of proof! No makeup today, but I did wash my hair and put on chapstick. Hair and face, fixed!
Here’s your homework.
Look at the Flylady baby steps so far, and choose one that appeals to you. Try it out – but here’s the caveat: adjust it to make it two times as easy as it is now. In other words, cut the difficulty in half.
That’s what it’s like to make something managable.
The inner perfectionist hates that. Do it anyway.
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